I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Randomize
