you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
All I want is dick and wine.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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