And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
