Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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