Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
they just started filling water ballons with vodka.
on my way.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
He serenaded me a cappella to Ed Sheeran. I wasn't going to leave his dick unsucked.
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
