so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
i love accidental penises.
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
Is it weird that I only look up my ex on Twitter when I take a shit? May have conditioned myself to associate him with shit
Randomize
