the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
My bed smells like the plague
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
Randomize
