Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
