Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
Hey. I thought you were saving your 80s playlist til marriage.
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
