yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
He asked if I smoke and I said "only fools like you on the basketball court!" Then I started crying. I think I'm about to have my period.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
it's like my eyeball is being humped by my eyelid
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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