I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
Randomize
