He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
When i'm home next we need to get baked and go to waffle house. I want to see if the waitress can still guess my intoxication level and what i'm about to order before i even make it to the table.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize
