my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize