what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
it hurts more in the daytime
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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