I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
