I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
My stomach is making the worst sounds, probably because there is nothing but semen in it.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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