She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
