exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
Randomize