THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
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