I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
Fuck you, jack daniels. I feel like satan laid an egg in my brain.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
