cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
I'm not really sure what went on in my mouth last night but right now it tastes like what I can only imagine is a mixture of astroglide and peanut butter. You hungry?
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
How’d it go?
I accidentally joined a cult
So not great...
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