Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
Randomize
