I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
I am one with the molecules
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
