I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
