There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
