I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Randomize
