before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
