Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
