I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
that thing about your dad's boner was meant to be a compliment
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
masturbating on the freeway is more stressful than it sounds
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
Randomize
