i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
She is dumping me if she doesn't get a ring by Valentines. So one more month of free sex and it will be back to the right hand.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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