just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Drinking wine. Reading twilight. On a Friday night. Biggest loser contest. First Place.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Randomize
