it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
The girls said some drunk guy in footie pajamas was asking for me when they opened the doors. I thought we agreed you were gonna stay home and microwave me some bacon.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
Randomize
