I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
Randomize