Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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