Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
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