No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
do I look like a person who has full control of their limbs and existence on this plane of reality
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
