You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize