i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
It mathmatically balances. Less pants + more shirt = fully clothed. see? Not a whore!
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
My roommate just angrily told the cat he should have knocked, but that's not lockdown madness. They're always like that.
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