If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
