I hope God doesn't listen to everybody on a Saturday night.
Acid is not a monday night drug
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
He's freaking out just because my cat licked his balls while he was fucking me
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
