woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
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