im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Randomize
