you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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