I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
