I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
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