hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
