dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Randomize
