4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Randomize
