i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
I'm like the kid who wants his birthday and christmas equally. Every time I get one I want the other. Only I don't want holidays I want brothers
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
