Jerry, you need to find god
My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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