this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
The cab driver gave me a church card yesterday and said I should reconnect with god.
Then he gave me 2 tickets to a movie he's going to be in
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
Randomize
