I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
She tied me up with her honor cords...
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
Randomize
