I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
he made me cum so hard i had an asthma attack
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
