She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
Sneezing cum all over the table was not the highlight of the family reunion if that tells you anything
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
