u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
